Thursday, September 22, 2005

Eli 4.1 Games the System

Gloria was worried at first that Eli 4.1 wasn't adapting to pre-school very well. It was a big change for him. In the last week or so, he seems to have really hit his stride.

"Miss Denise said that Eli was going to the bathroom every thirty minutes or so today," Gloria said.

"Really?" I asked. He goes about every four hours when he's at home. He'll wait and wait and wait and wait, like a miser and his dime, and then he'll suddenly start sprinting to the bathroom, yelling "I'VE GOTTA PEE!"

"I wonder if has a bladder infection," Gloria said. That's a woman for you. Sincere. Always believing the best in someone.

"Gaming the system," I said.


"He's gaming the system," I said. "He knows that asking to go to the bathroom is an automatic pass out of class. It gives him free time every hour."

Eli 4.1 came downstairs while we were discussing this.

"Eli," I said, "Do you need to use the bathroom when you're at school?"

"Oh, yeah," he said. "A LOT. I have to go and go and GO."

"Do you feel like that when you're home?" I asked.

"Nope," he said. "Only at school."

"Interesting," I said. "I wonder why that happens."

"I think it's because I cry at school because I miss my mommy," he said. "My tears fall on my penis and that's why I need to pee."

I'm absolutely certain he's not attending naked pre-school, but it's an interesting theory.

Genius. Gaming the system and the sympathy angle, all in one sentence.

My little boy's growing up.

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