Friday, September 22, 2006

At the Highest Level

Gloria called home yesterday afternoon. I was in my study at the time. Imagine that.

"We're on the Central Market playground," she said. "Do you want anything from the store?"

Central Market is a "store" like Jackson Pollack is a house painter. I can ask for butter made from yak's milk and have at least a 50/50 change of her bringing a tub home.

"Have you already shopped?" I asked.

"Yes," she said, "but we can just go back in."

"Nothing for me, then," I said.

"Why? It will just take us a minute to go back in."

"I'm too lazy for that,"I said.

"But you're not having to do anything," she said.

"That doesn't matter. I'm a practitioner of lazy at the highest level. I don't hoard lazy. I'm a philanthropist."

"Good grief," she said.

"I'm Lazy HD," I said. "Don't even look for me on the regular lazy channels. I'm not there."

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