Thursday, May 10, 2007


"Dad, where are you taking Mom tonight?" Eli 5.9 asked. It was about 5:30 Sunday afternoon, and Mary (the babysitter) would be here soon.

"We're going to try a new pizza place," I said.

"Pizza? Are you KIDDING me?" he asked.

"What's wrong with pizza?"

"Dad, you can't take Mom to a pizza place for a date night. Pizza is for kids. It's not fancy enough. It's just the natural order of things."

"Did your Mother tell you this?" I asked.

"Um, yes," he said. "Why?"

Thus begins the poisoning of a young mind.

And as unlikely as it seems, Eli did say "It's the natural order of things," although he ripped it straight from an Avatar episode.

I had a sausage and mushroom pizza, while Gloria had an overturned produce truck on crust. So it's a good thing I ordered what I did, because she had two pieces of mine.

The night before, we'd gone out to a place called Kona Grill for dinner. After dinner, Gloria smiled at me and I saw that she had something in her teeth.

"Dinner legacy issue," I said, pointing at her mouth.

You know what she did then, of course. Why is it that the first thing someone does when you tell them they have food in their teeth is to open their mouth as wide as they can?

"Eli, do you see that?" I asked.

"OH, I SEE IT," Eli said. "That thing is HUGE."

"That's it, you two," Gloria said. "I'm going to the bathroom."

"You can't miss it," I said. "It's shaped like a falcon."

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