Monday, March 16, 2009

Eli 7.7

There's a guy in central Austin who likes to ride his bicycle while he's, um, wearing a thong.

He's skinny, like a near-naked version of Ichabod Crane, and he doesn't wear anything but the thong. I saw him two weeks ago wearing a pink banana hammock, and believe me, having an ass cheek burned into each retina is not a pleasant experience.

Gloria and Eli 7.7 were out and about today, and Eli saw this guy for the first time. His thong was tie-die.

Eli thought it was hilarious, of course. "Dad, seeing a man ride a bicycle in his underwear is NOT a pretty sight," he said, laughing.

Last week, I was checking his homework. He's supposed to sign his homework "Eli - 5" (I don't really know why), and his "5" was barely more than a squiggle. "Dude, seriously, this is the worst five I've ever seen," I said, holding up his paper.

"No, I can do worse," he said, quite seriously.

Last night, Gloria made me a sandwich for dinner. My study is downstairs, and I had the door open, so I heard her when she said to Eli "Please go tell Dad that dinner is ready."

I started laughing, because I knew what was coming up.

Without moving an inch, he sprung into action. "HEY DAD!" he shouted. "DINNER IS READY!"


Yes, this drives Gloria crazy.

He finished the third Harry Potter book last weekend, and the three of us got into this unbelievable, full-on nerd discussion about how time travel works when Hermione uses the time-turner.

My theory is that past, present, and future normally constitute discrete time streams and never cross. When using the time turner, though, the streams merge, and past, present, and future have no real meaning anymore, because every moment for every person is their present.

Or something like that.

I can't remember exactly what we all said, because the ideas were flying so fast that I couldn't keep track of it all, but Eli was really holding his own, which was awesome. He may only weigh 50 pounds, but his ideas are a lot heavier than that.

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