Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Wigs, Owls, Yoda

I was driving Eli 9.2 home after school earlier this week when we drove past a shopping center. The shopping center had one of those big signs in front to tell you the name of all the stores. I quickly glanced at the sign as we drove by and thought I saw "Severity Wig Spa."

It turned out to be "Serenity Wig Spa," but I think I like the other name better. I wonder what kind of wigs they would carry.

We went to see Legend of the Guardians last Friday. The previews were absolutely fantastic--the movie looked stunning, with some of the best 3-D effects I'd ever seen. And who doesn't like owls? So it was somewhat disappointing when the film turned out to be an $80 million dollar feather animation system.

That's sort of a broad brush, really. It wasn't that the film was bad, just that the story and the voices didn't in any way live up to the quality of the visuals.

"Did you notice that the evil owls lived in that smoking, bleak hulk of a landscape?" I asked Eli as we walked out.

"And fire," Eli said. "Lots of fire."

"Why is it that the evil villains always live in a place like that?" I said. "Have you noticed that no one has an evil lair in a tropical paradise?"

Eli laughed.

"Is it possible that evil villainry is just a response to substandard housing?"

"Oh Dad," Eli said, laughing and grabbing his stomach. "That's a good one."

Eli's teacher this year won't countenance any guff. He likes her, and so do I, but she's definitely no-nonsense. As Eli says "She's not mean, and she's fair. She's just strict."

Remember the troublemaker kid I wrote about last year? Well, he's in her class, too, and yesterday, I saw him open the door of their building and push his rolling backpack as hard as he could, letting it sail into space. It hit the door bump plate and went flying. There were kids behind him, waiting to get out, so it basically stalled the line.

Right behind him, however, was his teacher. "Leonard," she said, and I don't even have to tell you what tone she was using.

He turned around and blanched white. "I thought--" he started.

"There are no thoughts," she said. "Your only thought is that you are in control of your backpack."

It was very hard not to burst out laughing. Eli was right behind her, and he was trying very hard not to burst out laughing, too.

Gloria said it sounded like Yoda. She's right, because when she said that, I remembered my favorite Yoda phrase: "Do or do not. There is no try."

So his teacher is Yoda. With a hammer.

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