Monday, September 12, 2011

When Metaphors Attack

I've started listening to Pandora when I ride.

I have an Adele channel. Eli was the one who turned me onto Adele, believe it or not, and she's fantastic. And I don't have to worry about her dying anytime soon (I'm still pissed off at Amy Winehouse).

So I'm listening to this station and a Neil Diamond song comes on, and even though I'm 50, I will never be old enough to listen to Neil Diamond. This time, though, I'm a captive audience, because I don't want to stop riding to fix the problem. So I'm listening, and the song is "Sweet Caroline", which has been played roughly 1,000,000,000 times on the radio.

I've never really listened to the lyrics before. This time, though, I do, and I hear this:
And when I hurt
Hurting runs off my shoulder

What the hell, Neil Diamond? Are you sweating hurt, or is it sluicing down your body in some kind of torrent? What is wrong with your hurt gland? Dude, you should get that shit checked out, because it sounds like you are in need of immediate medical attention.

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