Thursday, April 15, 2021

Shots Fired--From a Gun

I am not muscular.

For one, I'm thin. 6'0", 160. Not a lot to work with. 

For another, I kept getting hurt lifting weights, particularly my lower back. 

However, I mentioned recently that I'd seen a study establishing that lifting weights every fifth day to failure (doing reps until you can't) still helped you build and retain strength. 

This was a thing I could do, and it gave my body plenty of time to recover. 

Since then, I've put on a little muscle. Let me rephrase that: I've put on little muscles. Not much, really, and maybe I'm the only one who can see them, but I'm probably stronger than I've been in ten years. 

In short, I don't have many muscles, but that doesn't mean I can't talk a good game.

"When you go have dinner with your girlfriend, I want you to have her measure your bicep," I said. 

"Wait, what?"

"My bicep is 12" now. I need to have the family standard to work toward. I can't get as big as you, but maybe I can narrow the gap a little. It will motivate me."

"I'll do that tonight," he said.

I received no text. 

The next morning, I sent him this:
I guess your bicep measurement was 11 7'8 and you couldn't stand to send it.

Later, the phone rang.

"I just got your ridiculous text."

"Is it?" I asked. 

"I didn't send you the measurement because we couldn't find the tape measure last night."

"That's exactly what a guy with an 11 7/8" bicep would say."

"I'll hang up," he said. 

"I'm coming for you," I said. "Guns blazing." We were both laughing so hard at this point that we could hardly talk.

"Don't push me," he said. "I'm right there."

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