Scheduling
Gloria walked up to me on the playground, where I was hanging out with Eli 5.3."We need to sit down and schedule a few things," she said.
"OHIO STATE MICHIGAN NOVEMBER EIGHTEENTH ACTIVITY BLACKOUT," I said.
"We need to invite Mark and Colleen and the kids over, and Carol and James and their kids as well," she said.
"La la la la la la la la la," I said, putting my fingers in my ears.
"We owe both of them a visit," she said.
"I don't owe them a visit," I said. "I'm just minding my own business."
"You're part of this family, mister," she said.
"Not during football season!" I said. "Read my warranty."
"I bought you as-is," she said. "There was no warranty."
Well played.
It's not that I don't like all the people she's talking about--I do--but it's football season. It's not my fault she's not a football fan. It's something wrong inside her. I can't fix that.
If she was a football fan, she'd do the only natural thing to do in the fall, which is to watch football on Saturday and Sunday. Instead, though, she's wandering all over the country visiting people and piling up commitments.
That's what happens when you don't have life anchors. You careen around like a little paper boat, drifting with the current from a sudden rain, then WHAM! Right down the storm drain.
Meanwhile, I'm on the couch eating nachos and watching football in HD.
Those are the choices: death or nachos. Could someone please think rationally here?
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