Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Guidance

As part of my Become A Grown-Up Initiative, I decided to buy some pants that fit. 

Baby steps, people.

Easy, you say? Not so fast. The fit of any jeans I wear is severely complicated by the fact that I have no ass. None at all. If there was a device to measure ass size, I would score in negative numbers. 

Seeking assistance, I engaged the family fashion consultant, Eli 20.1. He was on a flight to Boston at the time. 

Okay, if I try to buy a pair of jeans that might actually fit me, what kind should I be looking for?

        Let's conference when I get home on Monday!

Oh my god, is it that complicated? Eject! Eject!

        No but you have earned little of my trust when it comes to clothing.

Very fair point.

No jeans were purchased. 

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