I sent this in in text form to Eli 23.3 today:
I had a crazy idea to write a book called "Embrace the Pain: the New Science of Stretching" and fill it with pseudoscience and speculations about cavemen and become an international fitness phenomenon but I don't have the energy to go on Oprah.
The scary thing is I think this would probably work.
C has a better idea, though: a small volume of "curmudgeon haiku."