Twists in the Summer Reading Challenge
"I think I'm behind in the summer reading challenge," Eli says, "but I remember you said--probably joking--that if I read and finished
Infinite Jest, then I won automatically."
"I wasn't joking," I said. "Anyone who goes through that much punishment should win the contest immediately."
"Here's my Hail Mary, then," he said. "Instead of trying to catch up, I'm going to try to read Infinite Jest in a week."
"That's the moon shot strategy," I said. "Also, if you're one of the six people who gets an interview following that exam, it's an automatic win as well. So you have multiple paths to victory."
I sent him my final page total today: 14,137. Either he wins by page count (in which case, I had a slight influence in him reading so many pages, which makes me happy), or he wins by reading Infinite Jest (which also makes me happy because he can tell me about it and I don't have to read it), or I win outright (still happy).
There's no loss to be taken here.
Turn Left at the Pigeon: Navigating Manhattan
We were trying to get to the High Line, which is an elevated walkway/park in Manhattan.
The entrance we first tried to go in was closed because there was a movie being filmed/Ed Sheeran was doing a pop-up concert, depending on who you believed. So we were standing there with our phones, trying to figure out another entrance. That's when a guy next to us started giving us directions. "You walk over there," he said, pointing, "and go down the stairs. Go a block and turn left at the giant pigeon. You can't miss it."
He was right on two counts. It WAS a giant pigeon (two stories high), and we didn't miss it.
The High Line is wonderful, but Manhattan is exhausting. It would be a great place to be deaf, because the cacophony is unrelenting and often unbearable. And it's so crowded and so fast, all the time.
To be above the noise and see trees and peaceful walkways with no cars or bikes was fantastic. It's my favorite thing in Manhattan so far.
[AI] Cantonese ChatGPT
Our property manager's father (who does all kinds of repair work and is an extremely nice person) had an extended conversation with me when he came to fix something two weeks ago.
He used to be in technology and uses ChatGPT extensively. He said it's particularly useful for him to be able to look up medical issues involving his mom because he can get a summary of information, ask Chat to read it back in Cantonese, and send her the audio file. That way there's nothing he's forgetting to include.
He said he uses the program almost exclusively with a microphone, and Chat will not only respond in Cantonese, it will mimic the accent of his particular region. Amazing.
A Test
Over the next two days, Eli 24.1 is taking what is generally acknowledged as the most difficult test in the world.
No preparation is really possible. Questions are not known in advance. Each day consists of six 1,500 words essays, written inside designated one-hour periods. Combined, it's 18,000 words of writing in two days.
To me, even qualifying to take the exam is an honor.
I thought he might be slightly nervous, but we talked last night and he was full of excitement. He said with regular exams, he just out-prepares the material and then executes the preparation, but this test was a rigorous, demanding intellectual challenge. A true test of everything he knows, both in academics and in life.
He said he couldn't wait, and I believe him.
Struggling
Still waiting for the Rapture...
Now that I'm able to write again, I'm struggling with the rewriting of part one. It's always been weaker than the other two sections. Now it's time to end excuses and bring it up to par.
What I'm finding is that I wrote an imitation of a genuine thing, and now it has to be the genuine thing. I understand how to make it genuine, or how to get further along the path, but it's some of the hardest writing I'll do. It has to be so much more precise than the level of past drafts.
I'll be in good shape when this section is done, but it won't be before Christmas, probably. It's going to be a hard three months.
Breaking News
Apparently, the Rapture is supposed to happen tomorrow or Wednesday, according to various prominent evangelical sources.
Damn it, if I'd known that, I wouldn't have spent all this time moving.
Workstation*
* When you're moving, anyway.
This is where C did her work for several days. The situation has fortunately improved since then. Considerably.
This Is How We Do It
I couldn't sleep, so I woke up early and decided to handle all the moving administrative tasks I'd been putting off.
Four tasks: health insurance, driver's license, library card, postal service.
Health insurance: After logging into healthcare.gov and going through multiple screens about a non-window qualifying event (moving, in this case), I finally get to the change coverage screen, but New York isn't there as a resident state. That's when I find out New York has it's own healthcare change, and when I'm directed to it, it's down for maintenance.
0-1.
Driver's license: I need a NY online ID first, so I go through the registration process, then go to the DMV site. After filling in information on half a dozen screens for a driver's license exchange (uploading photos of my old license, etc.), I hit a screen where they want a photo of my Social Security card. Wait, what? I haven't used my Social Security card in at least thirty years and have no idea if I still have it. I'll look for it later. Application stalled.
0-2.
Library card: I successfully registered for an online NYC library card. Hooray! I went to Libby to update my cards so I could access the huge online library that New York City presumably has and was told I need a PIN number in addition to my library card number. How do I get a pin number? By visiting my local library branch in person.
0-3.
Postal service: I wanted to confirm my change of address so my online preview is restored, and I also wanted to extend the length of the mail forwarding service. After entering screens of data, I finally get to enter my payment information for the forwarding extension. I login to my bank account to make sure the address on file (my new one) EXACTLY matches what I enter into the payment screen because I don't want the charge rejected.
It's rejected anyway.
0-4.
So that's how my day's going and it's not even 6 a.m. yet.
On the Summit
The pantry cabinet has landed.
Ten hours. Let's never do this again.
Nightmare Fuel
We needed additional pantry space:
Well. That's 45 pieces of wood and 4000+ pieces of mounting hardware.
Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.
Queens
I was under several misconceptions before I got here.
I thought only the fancy neighborhoods in NYC would be beautiful--Manhattan, mostly--but our neighborhood is certainly beautiful and it's not fancy at all. Lovely trees, sidewalks everywhere, a park nearby, and no *$*#! leaf blowers or lawn mowers anywhere (for the first ten days, at least).
I also thought that people wouldn't be friendly. Not everyone is, but many people are friendly far beyond what I expected, particularly all our neighbors. It's been a pleasant surprise.
There is food every twenty yards for miles. I knew Queens had great food, but I had no idea it was so dense. It's everywhere. If I had no dietary restrictions, I'd gain twenty pounds in the first year.
I'm walking an enormous amount because it's much easier than using the car. 10K+ steps every day, generally, often carrying groceries or something with me.
I've put many things together, which is definitely not one of my skills (unless it's a computer). I used the dolly this morning to go up and down stairs with a large trunk, which is something I hope I never do again. This afternoon, I'll be putting together a large pantry. It will likely be a disaster.
I'll get through it. I'm glad to be here.
Unboxing
The moving company delivered 80+ boxes and furniture yesterday. They brought in so many items that I was willing to pay them to stop and set fire to the truck.
C is often a force of nature, and her utterly ridiculous work rate means we've gone through at least 50 of the boxes now, if not more. Plus the television room is put together and everything is working. It takes a surprisingly long time for televisions, computers, and networks these days.
Anyway, I'm exhausted, and we're showering and walking to dinner. More on Monday.
The Drive
We tried to leave at 5:30, which became 6:30, which would be crucial later on.
Each state had a different personality as we passed through. Michigan had more traffic on the interstate at 7 a.m. on Saturday than either Ohio or Pennsylvania later on. It was baffling. Oh, and the shitty roads. Far worse than any other state we passed through.
Ohio had it's magnificent, well-maintained tollway. I suspect it might be the best part of Ohio, but having only been to Dayton, I have no real data to back that up with. Regardless, their travel plazas and road quality were impressive.
Pennsylvania, even from the interstate, was beautiful. Long, rolling hills, beautiful scenery, plenty of rivers. Even the traffic was calm.
Then we passed into New Jersey, and all hell broke loose. Cross the state lines and we were immediately getting passed at 95 MPH by every third driver, it seemed. Freeway chaos, and also 2-4 lanes were added so it was even more of a scramble.
When we got to NYC, it was still light, but fading fast, and then we got backed up (no surprise). It started raining, too, as we were trying to get into all the right lanes for the George Washington bridge. I was driving, but C was reading text directions at the same time, which saved me at least twice from making a mistake.
So, 13.5 hours later, we turned onto our block. And got lost. It was raining harder, and C had only been to our place once (and not in the dark), and the houses on the street look similar. We went down the wrong alley--my God, alleys are tight here--and then spent a nail-biting fifteen minutes fitting into our parking space in the garage (garages--also very tight). C's daughter walked over and directed me into the garage after dozens of little adjustments. I don't think I would have made it myself, because I was exhausted by that point.
We did, though, and our place is beautiful.
Here's one other thing I noticed on the drive. In Michigan, there were a ton of those absolutely giant F-150s (the kind where the grille is taller than C) and people on loud, annoying motorcycles.
I dislike both of those. Intensely.
As we drove east, though, the numbers of both lessened, state by state. By the time we hit New York, the trucks (what few there were) were much smaller, and the number of motorcycles was almost zero.
I know it won't be perfect here, but I told C that this was the pessimist's version of optimism: I'm ready for a new set of things to annoy me.
Let's Back Up to Last Friday
I dropped Eli 24.1 off at the airport at 1:20.
C and I were leaving for Queens in the early morning. In-between, I had to sell my car.
This was an unreasonably tight timeline. With the wedding, though, and Eli needing a car while he was here, it was the only timeline that worked.
I'd done some preliminary work online with CarMax and had an offer in hand.
I have extremely adverse reactions to car salesman. It always felt like I was their adversary and they were continually probing for a weakness. It was manipulative. They were looking to squeeze every penny out of you whether it was fair or not.
In short, gross.
I walked in at 2;55, five minutes before my scheduled appointment. The person I worked with (who was a few years older than me) pulled up the offer I received online and said he needed to take a few pictures of the vehicle and to drive it for a few minutes.
When he came back in, he said, "Drives nice." It's a 2014 Accord Hybrid with only 89,000 miles on it, and I drive like a ninety-year-old, so it's still in good shape. He took the title and identification from me, scanned everything, and sent it along to another group.
It wasn't long before he handed me a check for the exact amount of the online offer.
I snapped a picture of the check and deposited it in my bank at 2:54. 59 minutes, including arriving early.
It was a fair offer. I was out in less than an hour. At no point was anything adversarial. The process was so pleasant it almost made me want to buy another car right there.
Oh, and I asked him what the hardest car was to sell right now. He said, "Oh, Teslas. We can't give them away."
Capitalism
An excerpt from Perfecting Sound Forever: An Aural History of Recorded Music, with a quote from legendary PR man Jim Moran in 1959 in response to the police shutting down one of his stunts:
It's a sad day for capitalism when a man can't fly a midget on a kite above Central Park.
Delaware Rules
The morning after the wedding, we went to a farewell brunch.
I wore my Delaware Blue Hens t-shirt, which is probably the most obscure t-shirt I could wear. Delaware is my dynasty team in CFB '26, and I'm enjoying having some merch.
The first person we saw mentioned the t-shirt, and I somewhat sheepishly confessed that I didn't know the school but that they were my dynasty team. "You play the game?" he asked, which started a discussion about dynasties and sliders and difficulty (his dynasty team is Minnesota, by the way).
Then it turns out that a cousin on the groom's side went to Delaware, so a slew of people would see the t-shirt and mention it with approval.
It was great. I had a huge smile on the face the whole time. Who knew?
A Very Rare Picture With Me In It
Here's a picture of us the night before the wedding.
And one more beach picture:
Also, we're moving! Total chaos here.
Wedding
We went to a beach in Traverse City this weekend for a wedding (myself, Eli 24.1, and C).
I didn't get any pictures at the ceremony, but here's two of the beach where we were staying.
Austin
We had a great time in Austin.
Most of the day, we were with Mom, but we also went to do some of Eli 24.0s favorite things. Food, mostly--Chuy's and Terry Black's, and P. Terry's (for me). We also went to the Blanton and Book People and Central Market and got snow cones (not available in Michigan).
Eli was looking through the Austin Chronicle, a free local paper with a highly progressive bent. In it, they list everything you can do in the city on the weekend. It was an incredible list, and it reminded me that all the money flowing into Austin has increased the number of amazing things you can do.
Still, though, in other ways, it's far less amazing now.
To me, the biggest difference is that Austin used to be a great place to be poor. Nothing cost much, incredible music talent was playing in bars for tips, the food was great and cheap, and everyone was laid back.
Now, Austin is a terrible place to be poor, but it's a great place to be rich. Lots of the best things to do are very expensive, even though they're undoubtedly amazing. Music is far less original (or interesting), and lots and lots of people spend their days peacocking.
I still enjoy being there--Eli helped me understand that--but it's so different now.
