Tuesday, July 05, 2005

The Goofy Gooferson Chronicles

Very slow gaming day, so here are a few family stories that have accumulated in the last week.

Eli 3.11 (version 4.0 debuts July 31) picked out Gloria's birthday cake last week. He originally had a hardline demand for a Scooby-Doo cake, but I negotiated him down to the Disney Princesses. There were four plastic princesses (The Little Mermaid, Belle, and two I didn't recognize) on the cake, almost like action figures, and you know who got to keep those after the cake was eaten.

Eli doesn't sleep with Buzz Lightyear in his bed, because it's a pretty sizable toy. He puts it on the floor instead, right next to his bed. So he's sitting on the floor in his room, with the four princesses arranged next to Buzz, and just before he crawls into bed, he picks up Buzz and says "Princesses, I'm always here on the floor."

Nice to know that help is only a few inches away.

"I've noticed that all your guilty pleasures involve hot women," Gloria said.


"In the blog," she said.

"What about Canada?" I asked. "Canada isn't a hot woman."

"If Vancouver was a woman, would she be hot?"

"Vancouver? Absolutely SCORCHING."

"My point," she said.

"Ah. Noted."


We were all sitting around this weekend, and Eli did something that made Gloria call him "Grouchy Groucherson."

If you have kids, you know immediately where this is going.

Grumpy Grumperson, Butty Butterson, Bossy Bosserson, Goofy Gooferson--they all made an appearance. Gloria had a brief but glorious reign as Sexy Sexerson, and I was unfairly labeled Dorky Dorkerson.

We were about to go out for lunch, and Gloria went into the bathroom to change, but for some strange reason known only to three-year-olds, Eli 3.11 started puttering around in there and just wouldn't leave. Gloria got tired of waiting, took off her shirt, and started changing clothes with the door open.

Believe me, you haven't lived until you've gotten to call your wife "Boobie Booberson."

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