Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The Savant

I have a very special talent.

It's the ability to come up with every conceivable dirty rhyme for a child's name. This was invaluable when we tried to think up a name for the boy you know as Eli 4.1. Hopefully this will keep childish taunts and sing-song-name-rhyming harrassment to a minimum. Hopefully, I'll be out of that phase by then, anyway.

Gloria has a special talent as well.

She also has a remarkable rhyming ability, of sorts. Only her rhyming ability involves taking the titles of television shows/movies and turning them into porn titles. It's amazing, really. Sure, we all dabble in that, but she's a genius.

Eli 4.1 was watching Scooby-Doo yesterday and I realized that I could test the master.

"Hey," I said, "I don't think 'Scooby-Doo' can be made into a porn title. It's easy to get 'Shag-me' from 'Shaggy,' but I think that's about it," I said.

"Really?" She's not even concerned. She has Yoda skills when it comes to this. "Well, let's see." She thinks for about ten seconds. "Oh, I've got it," she said. "Screw-Me Do and Shag-Me, Too."


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