Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Superhero Chloe Saves The Day

DQ reader Jonathan Sullivan's daughter Chloe is three, and he sent in this story after reading about Eli's "vacation" to South Korea:
Chloe is very into superheroes right now; Spider-Man is a particular favorite, as are Batman and Supergirl (but not Superman -- she says he's "a bad guy," for reasons unknown and, perhaps, best left unexplored).

Last Sunday, she was showing me a tiny pocket Bible her grandmother had purchased her. It's a regular Bible, so there are no pictures to match the text and she can't read any of it. There is, however, a flyleaf page with some pictures of Jesus in the traditional pose -- little kids around him, He's holding a lamb, He has the non-lamb-holding arm extended in a friendly benediction. The illustrator clearly drew from the "hippie Jesus" school of drawing, because He's got longish hair and a look on his face that is completely mellow.

"Look, it's Jesus!" Chloe said.

"Cool. What's he doing?" I asked.

She looked at it, a little puzzled.

I tried to be helpful: "Is he teaching the kids?"

She thought for a minute, and then said the single most amusing thing I'd ever heard come out of her mouth: "No. They tied him up. Spider-Man's going to save him, and then they're going to eat that sheep."

Anyway, she could tell that I thought this was incredibly funny, so she's been making up stories involving Jesus and His SuperPals™. During the last week, I've heard gripping tales about how Batman and Jesus fought a dog, how Jesus punched a guy who stole Supergirl's purse, and how Jesus and his unidentified friend went fishing, but the friend left because "he didn't like Jesus." No word on whether Jesus' fishing buddy is Aquaman.

I don't consider myself a paragon of Bible learnin', but I'm pretty sure I haven't seen those before.

If I start using the phrase "and then they're going to eat that sheep," don't be surprised.

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