Thursday, May 21, 2009

An Expansionary Post

I was driving Eli 7.9 to soccer practice last week and we passed a person dressed in a devil's suit (holding up a business sign of some sort). Red face, horns, pitchfork--the full package.

Oh, and enormous boobs.

"Did you see that woman?" I asked as we drove by.

"I think that was a MAN," Eli said.

"No, that was definitely a woman," I said. "Did you see her chest?"

"Her chest?" Eli asked. "You mean it was hairy?"

"No, if it was hairy, then it would be a man," I said. "Usually."

"Are you SURE it wasn't a man?"

"Dude, did you see her b--" I caught myself, because I've never used "boobs" or "boobies" around him before, and he'll hear them soon enough, I'm sure. "Um, did you see her breasts?"

"Breast?" he asked. "What's a BREAST?"

I know that he knows what a breast is, but a seven-year old's brain is so packed full of new things that sometimes he just forgets stuff. "Um, you know, that place between the stomach and the neck," I said, flailing wildly.

"You mean the ARMPIT?" he asked.

"No, not that," I said. "You know--breasts! Like what your mom has that we don't."

"Oh!" he said. "You mean the EXPANSION of the NIPPLE."

"That sounds about right," I said.

"Compared to us, those things are HUGE," he said.

Site Meter