Friday, September 23, 2005

Lazy 101: Case Study

Before I get started with today's material, let me just mention how disappointed I am in some of your classwork. Dogs? You want a dog to lick those crumbs off the paper towel or floor? And that's going to save you effort?

Tell me that after you feed the dog, take it to the vet, bathe it, and pick up its steaming by-products with one of those little plastic gloves several times a day.

Again, this is graduate level work, people. I'd say bring your "A" game, but that would be wrong. In Lazy 101, if you have to bring your "A" game, then you're just working too damn hard.

Now, on to today's case study. Let's say that your wife and son are in the La-Z-Boy recliner in the living room. When reclined (assume it is), there is a space under the chair that a small, goofy kitten can hide in, so this space must be checked before returning the chair to its upright position.

Here's the catch, though. To check that the space underneath the chair is free of furballs, you must get on your hands and knees.

Your wife decides it's time to get up, and she asks you to check underneath the chair for kittens. What do you do?

You have up to ninety seconds to formulate an answer.

Let's roll tape from yesterday on the actual solution.

"Honey, would you check behind the chair please?" Gloria asked.

"No problem,"I said. "Just leave it up and I'll get it later."

"What? Why not do it now?"

"No worries," I said. "I'll take care of it."

"Oh my God," she said. "You're going to wait until you see both cats at once so you don't have to look under the chair!"

"Do you have a hand mirror?" I asked. "I could use a hand mirror."


I treasure the moments when my wife sounds like Charlie Brown.

Thank you for coming. Class dismissed.

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