They Do
"Don't touch that rose. It holds my fate." And with that, Eli 3.7's courtship--of a plastic doll--began.Eli's going through a Beauty and the Beast phase. He's captivated by the concept of a Beast and spends much of his time at home stalking around and growling. It's sort of like living with a very small bear.
Without a Beauty, though, there would be no Beast. Eli brought home a Belle doll (with reversible pink and yellow gown) two weeks ago, and it was love at first unboxing. She's about nine inches high, with lovely dark hair, and a winning smile. "Daddy, she's beautiful," Eli said, and indeed she did possess a generous amount of plastic doll hottitude.
Three days later, Eli came rushing up to me. "Daddy, I have a secret," he said.
"What is it, little man?" I asked.
He motioned for me to lean over so that he could whisper in my ear. "I'm marrying Belle," he said, delighted.
"Well, congratulations," I said. "She's a lucky doll."
"I know," he said, and laughed.
When I saw Gloria, I said, "Should we send out invitations?"
The parents of Eli 3.7
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of our son
to a flesh-colored piece of plastic
on Saturday, the fifth of March,
two thousand and six
at six o'clock in the evening
The wedding went off without a hitch, although Gloria and I weren't there. I know, missing your son's weddding seems like inexcusable behavior, but I think weddings to inorganic materials should definitely be the exception. His babysitter Emily printed out vows, which he recited, and when we came home, he was wearing a plastic ring. "My wedding ring is a special ring--it can fire lasers," he said.
"That is special," I said. "So, how does it feel to be married?"
"We both make a very good wife and husband," he said, and so they do.
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