Tasty
"We're out of caffeine," I said.This is roughly equivalent to a nuclear reactor running out of plutonium. Caffeine fuels this family. Bad things happen when we don't feed the nervous little monkey.
"Completely out?" Gloria asked. She was already sounding nervous.
"Wait, we do have something," I said. I opened the refrigerator and pulled out a can. "Diet Dr. Pepper, Berries and Cream flavor."
"Is it good?"
"Oh, hell no," I said. "It tastes like battery acid mixed with cough syrup. I think their target demographic was methadone addicts."
I saw this new soda at the store last week, and I'm a sucker for new soda. Besides, how could anyone turn down the flavor of berries and cream? So I bought some. Not a can, mind you--a twelve-pack.
Clever thinking. Maybe I was expecting huge shortages after people realized it was the greatest tasting soda ever.
After my taste test, we had eleven cans and nine ounces left. Screwed.
"Why don't you just throw it away?" she asked.
"I don't know," I said. "We've got eleven cans. It just seems wasteful."
"How do we get rid of it?"
"Well, let's think about it," I said. "Halloween will be here in another seven months. Or add a bow and it's the perfect wedding gift. Maybe we could have a dinner party--and invite eleven people. There's only one thing I fear."
"What?" she asked.
"Regifting."
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