Happy Mudder's Day
On Saturday night, we were watching television and an ad for jewelry came on."Oh, man, that's making me look bad," I said.
Gloria laughed.
"We did get you a giant balloon that says 'Congrats, Grad!'," I said.
"Yes, and I appreciate it," she said. "And the flowers, too."
Ah, the flowers.
"Dad, I've got a GREAT idea," Eli 5.9 said earlier that day. "I'll hide in the laundry room, and when you get Mom to walk by, and I'll jump out and THROW the flowers in the AIR." Explaining that this was, in fact, not a great idea but rather something you'd see in a slasher flick, made for an interesting afternoon.
Also interesting was our trip to Macy's.
"DAD! Look at THIS!" Eli shouted. He held up some costume jewelry. "THIS is a REAL diamond!"
"Dude, I'm pretty sure it's not a real diamond," I said.
"What is it, then?" he asked.
"Glass,"I said.
"Hmmph," he said. "That is NOT nice."
I saw something in Macy's I've never seen before: a mannequin with a tattoo. That's so far past stupid that I can't even find a road sign back to stupid.
Saturday night, there were crafts. Eli made Gloria a Mother's Day Flag out of Play-doh, plus a mole (on a popsicle stick) that emerged from a paper cup hole.
Hey, don't ask me--it's his mother.
6:00 a.m., Mother's Day morning. Eli burst into our room, singing:
Someone has a special day today
and Mommy is her name-o,
M-O-M-M-Y,
M-M-M-O-Y,
M-M-M-O-Y,
And Mommy is her name-o.
He crawled into bed with us.
6:10 a.m.:
Today we have a special guest
and Mommy is her name-o,
M-O-M-M-Y,
M-M-M-O-Y,
M-M-M-O-Y,
And Mommy is her name-o.
6:20 a.m.:
Happy Mother's Day to
the best Mommy I know,
M-O-M-M-Y,
M-M-M-O-Y,
M-M-M-O-Y,
And Mommy is her name-o.
This time, Eli was crouching down at the end of the bed, holding a stuffed bear wearing a dress, and every time he shouted a letter, he'd either raise himself or the bear into view.
How many versions of B-I-N-G-O could a five-year-old possibly think of for Mother's Day? Six, if I remember correctly. Appearing at ten-minute intervals. For an hour.
After that, he periodically yelled "HAPPY MUDDER'S DAY!", followed by "HUG ME, MOTHER!" for the rest of the day.
In other words, pretty much a normal weekend for us.
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