Tall Tales
Eli 6.2 is going through his topper phase--every time you tell a story, he has to top it with one of his own. Sometimes, he even feels the need to top his own story with a sequel.We walked out of the house Sunday morning, and there was a wasp flying around near the bushes. When we were safely in the car, Eli said "I'm glad that wasp didn't sting us."
"Me, too," I said. "I got stung on the front porch a few years ago." I hadn't been stung by a wasp for years, and when it stung me on my finger, it felt like 10,000 volts were going through my arm--I'd completely forgotten how jolting a wasp sting can be.
"I'm pretty sure that wasp was trying to sting me," Eli said. "There was a wasp in the backyard yesterday that was chasing me."
"There was?" I asked.
"Yes," he said. He was quiet for a few seconds. "It wasn't ACTUALLY one wasp," he said. "It was four wasps, thirteen honeybees, and a WHOLE COLONY of fire ants."
Earlier in the week, Eli had told me that they were having a running contest during P.E. class. Everyone was going to line up and run for as long as they could.
The next day, he didn't say anything about it when he got home from school. After dinner, though, he came over and said "DAD! I WON the running contest today. I ran for FORTY MINUTES and set a lower-school record. And it was even a record for the MIDDLE SCHOOL!"
"That's great, little man!" I said. "Congratulations!" Just then, Gloria walked in to the room.
"MOM!" he shouted. "I ran for FORTY MINUTES in P.E. today."
"That's really something," Gloria said gently, "because P.E. only lasts for thirty minutes."
"Well, we ran a little over because it was a BIG CHAMPIONSHIP," he said. "I am SO PROUD of myself." He started doing a victory jig around the room, with lots of butt-wiggling and finger-pointing. I only wish I had a video.
I e-mailed his P.E. coach and explained that Eli was in a tall tale phase and asked him what actually happened.
Reality version: he ran for fifteen minutes. That was as long as they let them run. That's still very good, but it's not quite the Olympic triumph that had been chronicled.
I guess the medal ceremony and parade are cancelled.
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