The New Ten
Gloria was looking in the mirror last night between taking off her day clothes and putting on her p.j.'s.Women do that.
"I can't see my ab muscles," she said.
"I haven't seen mine since two weeks before Richard Nixon resigned," I said. "I think they had a second family."
She kept looking.
"People in their forties don't have visible ab muscles," I said.
"No, I swear I could see mine just a few weeks ago," she said.
"It's a myth," I said. "Communist propaganda, put forth as part of the third five-year plan."
"Well, they were there," she said.
"You think you have problems? I'm turning forty-seven in less than a week," I said. "I'll be FIFTY in three more years. I'm closer to seventy than I am to twenty."
"That doesn't matter," she said. "Fifty is the new thirty."
"If that's true, then thirty is the new ten," I said.
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