Thursday, August 27, 2009

Of Shirts and Tetanus Shots

My work shirts have started to show wear.

When you wear a cotton dress shirt, little white points of wear start showing up after a few years, and then it's time to replace them.

I bought five new dress shirts. That's one for each day of the week, so that they'll wear evenly and need replacement at the same time. I like shirts with color, but the shirts I chose (by virtue of their color schemes) will all reside in the same laundry bin, which means they'll all get laundered at the same time.

I will be sorely tempted to write a day of the week on the inside of the shirt tales with laundry pens. This is both because I still share an unnatural fascination with Garanimals and because it could produce the following exchange with Gloria:
"Honey, I don't have my work shirt for today."
"You have three shirts hung in the closet."
"I don't have my Wednesday shirt. Today is Wednesday."
[unintelligble cursing]
"Are my five pairs of blue dress socks and five pairs of blue cotton Dockers ready?"
"I'm going to kill you now."

Those socks are all identical, as are the pants.

****
Gloria cut her finger today while she was working with the shrubbery. I demanded that she bring me one if she wanted to pass.

She cut her finger, and since she was working in soil, she decided that she needed to go get a tetanus shot.

"I have no idea where to get this shot," she said. "I don't want to go to my regular doctor, because it will take too long."

"I think I saw one of those mobile meat trucks last week that also said "WE GIVE TETANUS SHOTS." Plus, you get five free steaks."

"Helpful as always," she said.

"Let me give you a little advice," I said. "If you're going to a new doctor for a tetanus shot, avoid the ones that have any variation of 'rust' in their name. For example, don't go to Dr. Daniel Ruston."

"Or Dr. Rusty Rusterson," she said.

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