Tuesday, January 03, 2012

An Excellent Warning

We bought a new bucket of practice tennis balls yesterday before we headed out to play.

This bucket:


Eli 10.5 wanted the bucket with him in the back seat, and while we were driving to the courts, he was trying to open it up (more difficult than it seems because of a realtively stubborn plastic tear strip).

Then he burst out laughing. "Dad, you are not going to believe this!" he said. Then he started reading from the safety label on the bucket. This label:


If you're too lazy to click on that image to enlarge it (hey, it's the New Year, and we're all tired), here's what it says:
"CHILDREN CAN FALL INTO BUCKET AND DROWN.

KEEP CHILDREN AWAY FROM BUCKET WITH EVEN A SMALL AMOUNT OF LIQUID."

The best part, though, is the illustration, which shows a child desperately trying to climb into this tiny bucket, clearly demonstrating that the only way a child could actually drown would be if they could do a headstand with their head inside the bucket. For several minutes

I lack the Photoshop skills to rotate this image appropriately, but the more accurate warning is clear:
FUTURE OLYMPIC GYMNASTS OR CIRCUS PERFORMERS COULD DO A PROLONGED HEADSTAND IN THIS BUCKET AND DROWN. PROTECT ACCORDINGLY.

ALSO, DO NOT SWIM IN BUCKET UNTIL AT LEAST FORTY-FIVE MINUTES AFTER EATING.

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