Pew Pew Vroom KaboomI've never seen a Fast and Furious move.
Furious 7 was PG-13, Eli 13.8 had the day off from school, and I thought it was the perfect time to go see a big dumb movie. He agreed.
We stumbled out, stunned, afterwards.
"Well, THAT was over the top," Eli said.
"I think we have to invent an entirely new phrase," I said. "When cars falling from airplanes and landing on highways is the fifth best stunt in the movie, 'over the top' entirely loses its meaning."
You should hear Eli's Vin Diesel impersonation. It's substantial.
"Oh, and don't forget the bad guy," I said. "A parking garage literally fell on top of him--"
"--and he's fine," Eli said. "Not even scratched."
"I think this series is basically Star Wars with cars," I said. "So Vin Diesel is Yoda."
"The Rock is Luke Skywalker," Eli said. "Vin Diesel's wife is Princess Leia."
"Right, and Jason Statham is Darth Vader," I said.
There are some gaps in there, but I think it's a solid working theory.
"I'm not generally a fan of pew pew vroom," Eli said, "but that was a lot of fun."
"That's because it was pew pew vroom kaboom," I said. "Totally different genre."