The Wrong DirectionI went for a walk down by the lake today, on the running track next to the high school. It was sunny, but that sun was deceiving.
"Oh man, it was COLD out there," I said.
"That happens a lot," Gloria said. "You warm up after a while."
"I would if I was running," I said. "But walking, that doesn't really happen. For half the lap, it was fine. The other half, I was freezing."
"Maybe you could do some kind of warm-up on the track before you start," she said. "Like calisthenics."
"I can look like a 70-year-old man instead of a 55-year-old man," I said. "Excellent."
"JUMPING JACKS LET'S GO," I said. "SQUAT THRUSTS."
She was still laughing.
"I could also wear white athletic shorts and a jock," I said. "Perhaps a corded whistle."