The Cheap Seats
Commentary during the Grey Cup, which I am 100% sure was a better game than the Super Bowl will be this year.Commercial break:
"Tim's a loser," Gloria said.
"A loser?" Eli 16.3 said.
"TIM is driving a MOTORIZED couch," I said. "Tim is the ANTI-loser."
"He's a loser," she repeated.
"On the way home from the car dealership, Tim stopped for dinner--and brought it home to his wife," I said. "Do you know what Tim's wife is thinking as she eats? 'Tim: what a winner!' "
"Admit it, Mom, Tim rules."
Near the end of a tie game:
"You may get to see one of those plays where a punter kicks it into the end zone, and the other team's punter kicks it back out. And if you do, life will never be the same."
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