Dubious Quality

"Nature just attacked me," I said. Eli 16.10 laughed.

The branch, it seems, was guilty.

It was Mother's Day, the source of many a doomed expedition worldwide, and we were at the Frederik Meijer Gardens and Water Park. Okay, there's not actually a water park, but that would be killer. Instead, there are sculptures, many of children in various terrifying postures.

We were skeptical, but then we saw this:

"My respect for this place has gone up dramatically," Eli said, and I agreed.

"How many teenager morons have tried to feed potato chips to these plants?" I asked.

"Oh, hundreds," he said.

We walked. "This feels like a zoo," he said, "but where are the animals?"

"Hiding," I said.

Obligatory views:

Then we saw a big horse:

"The most frequent comments on Twitter," Eli said, "are 'Where are the animals?' and 'That's a big horse.' "

"I'd like to thank the stars for this horse not being anatomically correct," I said, and then we walked around the side. "Uh oh," I said, and Gloria started laughing. I'm not going to circle anything in red, but if you enlarge and look closely enough, you can see some basketball-sized testiculos de caballo:

Have a palate cleaner:

"Are you ready to go over to the sculpture section?" Gloria asked, after about an hour of walking.

"I think I need a little time to reflect on what I've seen," I said. "In the cafe."

Of nature but not in nature is how I like life. Seriously, look at this view from the cafe window (a little dark, too--just how I like it):

Here's a nice picture of two excellent people: