Strange
It's been an unsettling day.
There was a Groupon for $89 for a coronary calcium test. That's quite a deal, so I signed up and took the test this morning.
If you remember, that was the same test that blew up my life two and a half years ago. Also saved my life, probably. Because I took the test (on a lark, basically, because of a friend's recommendation), I found out that even though my cholesterol levels were within normal range, I still had substantial blockage in one coronary artery.
That's when I opened my pantry and threw out everything that had saturated fat. And got a cardiologist. And had an ultrasound which confirmed the blockage and also found a small cardiac aneurysm that is checked annually now. Oh, and changed my statin.
Those are all good things, but felt like bad things at the time. Very bad things.
Now my LDL is in the 60s and my total cholesterol is under 120 (and has been for the last two years). The aneurysm isn't growing, and it appears that the blockage has even reversed to a degree. Everything's good.
Still, though, I saw that Groupon and wanted a number (besides my cholesterol number) to compare the previous test's results with. Which is stupid, because it's generally regarded as an imprecise test. I had no reason to take it.
It's roiled up many of the emotions (anxiety and fear, essentially) that I felt when I first found out what the first score meant. Which surprises me, but there's no denying I've felt it strongly today.
I'm not even feeling today's emotions. I'm feeling ghosts.
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