Tuesday, January 02, 2007

So Close And Yet

I was in Walgreen's yesterday and actually heard a man say to his son, "Boy, I'm about to WOP you on the side of the head." Seriously. I didn't even see Borat or a film crew anywhere.

I wanted to ask the man for his name. That way, when I read the story about his sons dousing him with gasoline while he was asleep and setting him on fire in his easy chair inside their double-wide mobile home, I could just nod knowingly.

But I digress.

As I was walking through Walgreen's, I turned down an aisle and saw graphic evidence of why it can be so difficult to live in Texas. She was on the north side of two-fifty, with a mullet, and that mullet hadn't been washed in several days. And that pink velour sweatsuit with the belly gap wasn't helping, either.

That was the exact moment when My Eyes Adored You started playing over the in-store music system.
My eyes adored you
Though I never laid a hand on you,
My eyes adored you
Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see
How I adored you:
So close, so close and yet so far

Looking at one of the most unattractive people I've ever seen while Frankie Valli played in the background: irony's rich pageant.

That's when she turned and looked at me. And I knew, in one blindingly clear moment of realization, that she was probably thinking the very same thing. About me.

Infinite irony loop.

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