The Packing (Vacation part one)
Here is the operative assumption under which women pack for vacations: they assume that their house will burn to the ground while they are gone and they'll never return. This explains why they pack everything in the house before they go on a trip.When Gloria finished packing for the trip to Corpus Christi, there were three medium-sized suitcases and over half a dozen smaller bags to load. This luggage was considered critical for a trip that consisted of a half-day in Corpus on Friday, a full day on Saturday, and a half-day on Sunday.
I can only assume that somewhere in those bags was a six month supply of beef jerky and a year's supply of water purification pills. Just in case.
My luggage? A medium sized gym bag that contained a notebook PC, battery charger, the DS, cellphone charger, and noise cancellation headphones. I packed some clothes in the room that was left--but the electronic gear was the priority.
"Did I forget anything?" Gloria asked as she finished buckling Eli 4.2 into his car seat.
"Trees," I said. "And the fireplace. I think that's it."
"Very funny," she said. As those of you who are married well know, very funny actually means not very funny at all.
"Eli, would you like a snack?" she asked.
"I'm still in Park," I said. "We're still in the driveway and you're passing out pizza rolls and fresh-baked bread."
I saw a sign on the way down, one of those goofy billboards that says
DOES ADVERTISING WORK?
IT JUST DID!
I hope Dave Chappelle works in advertising some day, so that I can see billboards like this:
DOES ADVERTISING WORK?
IT JUST DID, BITCH!
Much better. More personal.
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