Drainers
From the BBC:Bed sharing 'drains men's brains'
Sharing a bed with someone could temporarily reduce your brain power - at least if you are a man - Austrian scientists suggest.
When men spend the night with a bed mate their sleep is disturbed, whether they make love or not, and this impairs their mental ability the next day.
The lack of sleep also increases a man's stress hormone levels.
According to the New Scientist study, women who share a bed fare better because they sleep more deeply.
Clearly, I had to forward this groundbreaking research to Gloria immediately, as I generally sleep very poorly at night. She sleeps quite well.
She found the study "amusing."
I walked into the bedroom last night wearing a bicycle helmet, strap securely attached under my chin. Gloria burst out laughing. "What in the world?" she asked.
"Oh, I think you know," I said, pulling back the covers. "You people are brain drainers. It's been scientifically confirmed. If I sleep in this bed, I wake up stupid."
"I'm not sure sleep has anything to do with it," she said.
"See? You're already brain draining me," I said, carefully adjusting my helmet. "I have to avoid the vampire effect. I may need to add a layer of aluminum foil under the helmet." I picked up my book and began to read, secure in the knowledge that, for now at least, my brain was safe from intruders.
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