Cargo
I have one pair of "cargo" shorts that are my absolute favorites. These, actually.I like them because they're both comfortable and incredibly durable. The fabric isn't thin, the zippers aren't flimsy, and they're well-made. I could see a pair lasting five years, and that's five years of "Texas use," where they can be worn nine months a year.
So after months of liking these shorts 10X as much as my other pairs, I decided to single-source. Why not just order more of these shorts and wear them all the time?
After I made the order, I told Gloria. "I ordered five pairs of these shorts," I said to Gloria, pointing to the pair I was wearing. "I'm standardizing."
"What waist size?" she asked.
"Thirty-four,"I said. I'm really a thirty-two, but I like the room.
"Oh, no," she said. "Those shorts hang on you like a TENT. Not only do you have no butt in those shorts, there's actually a GAP. Call back and change them to thirty-two's."
"I can't do that," I said. "The gap is part of the plan."
"The plan?"
"The safety plan," I said. "Listen, you don't want this superfine butt getting unshielded public exposure. Remember the footage of the Beatles at Shea Stadium? I don't want to walk through a mall and see women shrieking and passing out when I walk by. That's what would happen--I've got butt-risma."
"Do you remember that you sent me an article about the Germans developing an anti-stupid pill?" she asked.
"Yes," I said.
"How big can they make them?"
<< Home