Your E-mails: The 2nd Laziest Man in the World
These don't include the abundance of "I'm too lazy to prove how lazy I am" e-mails I received.From Nathan Walton:
Belts? I don't think that's a lazy man's accessory. He needs elastic; or for those formal occasions, velcro.
Nick Blair weighed in with this analysis:
While I can appreciate Matt's efforts to be lazy, there are multiple tell-tale signs that he'll never be that lazy.
1. He didn't leave the water for the dog to lap up.
2. He's got something as high maintenance as a dog (instead of cats which I have).
3. He's got a dog and hasn't hired/bribed/begged someone to install a dog door for him so he doesn't have to let it out.
4. And finally (perhaps most importantly), he didn't go back to late night TV (or bed) with the thought of "what a great story...I'll send it to Bill in email...later".
Far too much initiative in my opinion...
Which leads to the age old question...If a lazy person fell in a forest, could he even be bothered to tell anyone?
From Steve Micinski (Chairman of the Dubious Quality Survival Team in Shreveport):
Matt Kreuch missed something so obvious for the second laziest man in the world. Since he mopped up the obviously clean water with his pants, he can also mark down that once his pants have dried, they have also been washed, too.
Finally, from Kevin Wozniak:
To truly reach the level of Master of Lazy, this Grasshopper needs to keep working. It was too much work to unbuckle the belt, drop the drawers, soak up the water, hitch the drawers back up, and rebuckle the belt. By my count that's 5 steps. 5? Really? All that for a spill of water? Has this person never heard of SOCKS?
All that ultra-absorbant blended fabric just covering his feet, and he didn't even think of using them? If they aren't for wiping up spills with minimal effort, than I don't know what they are for. No shoes, one step. Shoes on, three steps (slip off shoe, wipe up spill, slip shoe back on - if done correctly, no bending required for the shoes). Please, remember, lazy isn't a lifestyle, it's a way of life. It may even be, when practiced at the highest levels, art. Grasshopper Kreuch may well be on his way to being a Master of Lazy, but he isn't there yet.
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