Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Flat Tires

David Jaffe has a blog.

Jaffe designed God of War, in case you're wondering. God of War sold over a million copies and was critically acclaimed.

Jaffe's latest project is "Calling All Cars," a downloadable game for the PS3. Gamespot reviewed the game and gave it a 6.7. Here are some excerpts:
Calling All Cars! can be played single-player, but it's clearly meant to be a multiplayer game. If you're stuck playing solo, you're given a choice of a single match or a tournament. The tournament is just a series of four matches, and you have to take first on a map to progress to the next. With four maps, it will only take you 20 minutes to see almost everything there is to see in the game.

...Calling All Cars! has the makings of a fun and exciting multiplayer game, but it feels more like a demo than a full game. With at least double the number of maps, weapons, and cars, this would be worth checking out. As it is now, there's just not enough content to justify spending $10 on this game.

Gamespot actually liked the game quite a bit, they just didn't like how much of a game you got for ten dollars. Here's how Jaffe responded on his blog:
The gamespot review- I think- didn’t seem to like that you could finish the single player game in 20 minutes. And maybe this is a fault of the game’s presentation but it’s not an adventure game…it’s like a fighting game in that sense: you work thru the single player to learn the game and unlock stuff. And when you get thru one level if you want to get better, up the difficulty. I get thru Tekken and Mortal Kombat single player in 5-15 minutes on default setting.

I don't know anyone who can work through Tekken and Mortal Kombat single player in 5-15 minutes, but I'm sure those guys are out there. And if it's clear to the consumer before they buy the game that the single-player mode essentially doesn't exist (sorry, but twenty minutes qualifies as "doesn't exist in my book"), then no problem.

Somehow, I don't think that's going to be the case.

So far, though, Jaffe is just coming off like someone who cares about their game and is a little chapped by the response. No problem.

Then he posts again, and the wheels start to come off. Here are a few excerpts:
I will say this tho, when I think about it. I am torn about reviews of these sorts of games. Getting the gamespot review really made me think. And before any of you cowards who don't post your real ***ing names tell me that I should stop crying, here's a big, juicy: 'GO **** YOUR MOTHER UP HER JIGGLY ASS **** for you. Go ahead: Take it; that's right, it's just for you! So take it and shove it up your ass there real good! :)

Cause jeeze man, what am I supposed to be? A ****ing robot? I make games for a living, we care if people like what we do. We are not perfect, our games are not perfect (even the ones that score 10/10) and it sucks when people don't love our stuff as much as we had hoped. Why is that such a sign of weakness to some of you *****? I swear I don't know. But either way, I can live with you asshats if you can live with me.

I added those asterisks.

Well, no, David, you're not supposed to be a robot--but not being a robot doesn't mean being an asshole. Seriously, you sound like the kid who lip-synched "Hot For Teacher" at the junior high talent show and ranted on his MySpace page when he didn't win.

I'm going to have to extend the Cardinal Rule of Being Interviewed ("don't be a dickhead") to game designers blogging as well.

He wasn't done, though. Here's one more:
But you know, I gotta get off a final parting shot before I go:

TO THE LAME ASS WEBSITE THAT SHALL GO UNNAMED- **** you, guys. Go **** yourselves. What other developer makes a ****ing change to a game when a review (IGN's in this case) has a good, valid point and is willing to open the ****ing code up at the risk of more bugs to make the game better? Amazing. But hey, you guys are great, you guys rock. I hope Kotaku ****ing puts your ass out of business, wanna be ****tards. And if you were actual journalists you would have read the mother****ing quote I posted on NEOGAF where I said because of the two bugs we needed to fix (not because I was afraid of the bargin bin) we had a window of opp. to fix the magnet problem. Assholes...total ****ing assholes.

David Jaffe desperately needed someone he trusted to tell him to shut up after that first post. Nothing he wrote after that advanced our interest in his work or our respect for same.

There are talented, mature people in the gaming industry who are just as passionate as Jaffe, yet handle discussions about their games in an incredibly civil manner.

Yelling should not be mistaken for passion.

Bethesda, for example. Bethesda has always come across as talented bright, devoted people, and when they are criticized, sometimes severely, they respond in a straightforward and civil manner that communicates their deep commitment to he game.

In other words, they respond like grown-ups. And I trust grown-ups to make a great game, especially when it's Fallout 3.

The funny thing about all this is that Jaffe is often remarkably entertaining in an interview. He may well be quite a nice guy. He just lacks a grasp of civility.

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