Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Eli 6.9

Eli 6.9 came home from school yesterday. Two of his friends at school are named Andrew and Tumello, and they're both seven.

"Andrew and Tumello are starting a CAR COMPANY," he said. "Tumello is going to draw the cars and Andrew is going to build them. If they sell enough cars, they're going to buy a HOUSE--in SPAIN! Can they DO that?"

"Good luck finding a house in Spain," I said. "The tourists have absolutely ruined that country."

We have a local grocery chain in Texas called H.E.B. It's been around a long time--since I was a kid, even--and they've essentially swallowed all the national chain competition in Austin and most of South Texas.

Two weekends ago, after we came back from the store (flowers for Mother's Day), we were sitting together on the couch.

"What does 'H.E.B.' stand for?" Eli asked.

"It's the initials of the man who started the company," I said. "H.E. Butt."

He could hardly get a word out because he was laughing so hard, but he managed to squeak "BUTT?"

"Butt," I said.

"That CAN'T be a name," he said. "Dad, you're kidding."

"Usually, yes, but that was the guy's name."

"I can't believe it," he said. "Butt."

"Can you imagine going to school with that last name?" I asked.

"Argghhh!" he said. "Did he have any kids?"

"He had a son," I said.

"What was his name?" Eli asked.

"Seymour," I said.

"Seymour Butt," he said. He sat there for a few seconds, then burst out laughing. "SEE MORE BUTT!" he shouted, laughing wildly.

Just then, Gloria walked in from her study.

"MOM! There was a KID named SEE MORE BUTT!" he shouted. Gloria shook her head.

"I love introducing him to the classics," I said.

H.E. Butt's real son, by the way, was named "Charles."

The Dramatist was making a (flat) house out of popsicle sticks on Monday, and for some reason, part of the roof wasn't adhering properly, so Gloria took out the hot glue gun to help him.

Last night, he carried the repaired house upstairs, but when he walked into his room, the roof separated again. "Noooooooo!" he said, slapping his forehead. "The hot glue has FAILED ME!"

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