Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Why Is It?

Last week, I took Eli 7.1 to Wendy's. On the way, he asked me about being bald, and I mentioned that men who had the most hair on their bodies (like their chests) were much more likely to lose the hair on their heads. Since I'm not a hairless ape (but pretty close), I told him I didn't think I'd ever be bald, and I didn't think he ever would be, either.

We sat down with our meal, and he picked up a chicken nugget and said, "Dad, can women go bald?"

"They can," I said, "but it happens much more often with men.

"Yeah," he said. "Women don't have chest hair."

Two tables away, I saw a woman do a spit take. It was great.

I help Eli 7.1 with his shower on Tuesday nights.

"Dad, why is it called a wiener?" he asked, in mid-soaping. Eli doesn't like hot dogs, so I don't think he makes the connection. "Is it because it's thin, like a wiener dog?"

I started to answer, but he cut me off.

"Women don't have a wiener," he said.

"No, they don't,"I said.

"They have to pee out of their butts," he said.

"That is not correct," I said.

"But they don't have a wiener."

"No," I said.

"That must be hard," he said.

"Well, cars have four wheels," I said. "Motorcycles and bicycles have two. But all of them can get us where we're going."

Seriously, that is the worst analogy in history.

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