Thursday, December 04, 2008


I suspected the breaching of a previous agreement.

"Did you buy that deck sanding toilet paper from Eco Market again?" I asked, holding up a square of white paper that could turn bone into dust.

"I did not," she said emphatically. "That is Charmin 'Extra Strength'."

"Honey, we're talking about toilet paper, not rope," I said. "The last thing my ass needs is toilet paper with a picture of a mustachioed carnival strongman lifting barbells. Seriously, you bought a shipping container of this from the former Soviet Union, didn't you? Where are you hiding the other five thousand rolls?"

"Noted," she said.

"You can't sneak that toilet paper by me," I said. "Some people have emotional intelligence. I have ass-onal intelligence."

"I won't argue with that," she said.

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