Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Fool

I went to Target today.

I don't get a cart at Target, or anywhere else. Carts are a commitment. You have to push the cart around, and you can't just leave it anywhere. Besides, I don't need a cart, because instead of putting my items in a cart, I can just carry them all.

Because of this glaring bit of stubborness on my part, here's what I carried all the way across Target today:
--1 20 lb. bag of cat litter
--2 25x20x1 air filters
--3 food bars
--1 drink
--1 cow cup for Eli
--1 bag of cat treats

The bag of cat litter was called "Feline Pine" (it's great stuff), and it comes in a huge bag with lots of empty space inside, which meant that the balance point shifted continually. Actually, the balance point of everything seemed to be shifting continually, so I was in that walk faster or die situation, mentally calculating how much closer I was to dropping everything with each step.

This, by itself, is no big deal, because I'm, um, a fool.

What I realized I was doing, though, was trying to act like I wasn't about to drop everything. So as everything was shifting closer to disaster with each step, and my body below the neck was doing its best Don Knotts/Jim Carrey impersonation, my head was trying to act like James Bond.

Sorry you couldn't see that? Hell, it was so ridiculous that I'm sorry I couldn't see it.

Site Meter