Thursday, January 15, 2009

Life With Eli 7.5

Eli 7.5 came home early from school on Tuesday because his stomach was hurting. A few hours later, though, he was asking me if we could go out for dinner.

"I don't think we can go out for dinner when you're sick," I said.

"Not any more!" he said. "A rocket of goodness just exploded in my stomach!"

Last weekend, Eli was eating dinner and started coughing, that kind of cough you get when something goes down the wrong pipe. We asked him if he was okay, but he just kept coughing. A few seconds later, he waved to us that he was okay. "Sorry," he said. "My breathing hole was occupied."

We were sitting on the couch last weekend, and Eli had left his pajamas on the floor after he changed into his day clothes. He was sitting beside me, idly flicking his "Harry Potter" wand.

"Little man," I said, "time to go put your p.j.'s in the laundy."

He pointed the wand at me. "Obliviate!" he said.

We were at McDonald's last week, and Eli wanted to know if he could watch a movie when he went to his Granny's later that morning. "Dude, you've already watched over an hour of t.v. this morning," I said.

"But dad," he said, "Doctors say that kids should get two-point-five hours of television a day."

"I doubt that," I said,"but let's say I agree with you. If you watch "Toy Story" at Granny's, that will put you over three hours for the day."

"Dad!" he said. "You know I don't follow that rule!"

This week, Eli 7.5 came home with a ton of homework.

After dinner, Gloria cleared the kitchen table. "Eli, it's time to start working on your homework," she said. "You need to get at least part of it done."

"Mom, I don't NEED to," Eli said. "I ALREADY did do part of it."

"You did?" she asked.

"Yes," he said patiently, walking over toward the television.

"Let's see," Gloria said, shuffling through his papers, "it looks like you have twenty-seven words to practice and some sentences to write. And based on what you've written, you've practiced--one."

I burst out laughing. "An outstanding but failed attempt at trickery," I said.

Eli was laughing, too. "I know," he said. "Thanks, Dad."

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