Thursday, September 17, 2009

Eli 8.1

I took Eli 8.1 to dinner last night at California Pizza Kitchen. He took with him this funky eraser, which you can see below.

It's not very useful as an eraser, but it looks great, and Eli likes to carry it in his pocket.

After dinner, we walked down to say "hi" to Gloria (who was actually in another restaurant at The Domain, having dinner with a rhinocerous--actually, her friend wasn't a rhinocerous, but I'd really enjoy a world where that was possible), and on the way back, Eli decided to see if he could skip his eraser on the sidewalk.

I explained that it didn't look like a "skippable" shape, but to go ahead and try. Which he did, and the eraser didn't do much of anything, just bouced a couple of time and stopped.

I picked it up and, instead of trying to skip it, tried to bounce it on its end instead. This worked well, and the eraser went for a long way before it stopped.

Eli kept trying to do this, and he couldn't. He thought it was hilarious that he couldn't do it at all and I could, and he'd laugh harder and harder each time he failed.

Finally, he was standing about fifteen feet away from me, and when he threw the eraser, it started bouncing perfectly, almost hugging the ground as it headed on a straight line toward me, and right when it got close it took one huge bounce--and hit me right in the crotch.

We both burst out laughing, and Eli said "Crotch shot! Right in the tenders!" He was laughing so hard that he could barely stand up. I was, too. It was a million to one shot, really, as unlikely as a man ever walking on the moon, although instead of a man on the moon it was an eraser to the crotch.

As we walked back to the car, Eli 8.1, reflecting on the unlikely miracle we'd just witnessed, said, "We will NEVER forget THIS day."

Last weekend, we went riding in the morning after we woke up, and on the way, we stopped at the McDonald's drive-through to get a biscuit. When Eli unwrapped his biscuit, he held it up and said "BEHOLD! The humble biscuit!"

We watched the Oklahoma St.-Georgia football game two weekends ago, and I was rooting for Oklahoma St. (local conference support). Eli wanted Georgia, which is where his most recent babysitter now lives, and at one point, he stood up, pointed at the television, and said "Go Georgia! It's all about you!"

Eli was lucky enough to get the third-grade teacher he wanted, but one of his friends didn't. I asked him what his friend said about his new teacher, and he said "She's VERY strict and VERY clumsy."

Eli 8.1 was telling me a story about Medusa as I drove him home from school on Monday. "Perseus killed Medusa by holding up his shield, and her reflected gaze turned her to stone," he said. "No, wait, I think it was actually the reflection of his sword...That's not right, either. I think he held up a mirror and used it to find her, then cut off her head with--well, there are MANY stories about how Medusa died."

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