Monday, February 06, 2012

Picture Monday

This can't be a good idea:

While Eli was still in heavy recovery mode, Gloria tried to get him to do more arts and crafts projects, as something relaxing and not too stimulating. One Sunday morning, he'd watched t.v. for a while, and I mentioned that he should probably turn off the t.v. and do a craft project. He said, "I think I'll build a stadium," and for the next three hours, that's what he did:

Stadium, field, end zones, goal posts, and stands (along with the crowd). And see those little connected rectangles at the top of the stadium wall? Luxury boxes.

Also during heavy recovery mode, when he was still away from school, I took him out one day to an outlet mall just to walk around and have some fun, because there wasn't much he could do. He saw a children's ride that he used to love, and I'm sure I probably posted a picture of him in it five years ago, but now he looks like a giant:

We took "holiday pictures" at the mall this year, which is something Eli and I both absolutely can't stand. It's just tedious and dreary, smiling on cue, and it feels so phony. They did have some funny props, though, including two giant gumdrops that I was required by law to put on my chest for instant giant candy boobies. I did this while Eli was posing, and I only wish the photographer had gotten a picture of him at the moment he saw me.

While we were waiting for the pictures to be printed, we saw what absolutely has to be the oddest promotional picture ever:

Your eyes do not deceive you. That's an expectant mother with an ammunition belt of ultrasound pictures over her shoulder. Meanwhile, her son looks on with what--bemusement? Horror?

I pointed it out to Eli, but didn't explain it to him. He looked, then looked again. "What the--OH MY GOD," he said. "AWKWARD."

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