On Ponies"Hey Dad, you've still got some muscle in those legs," Eli 15.6.
"I do?" I asked.
"Pretty good for an older guy," he said.
"Not like the old days," I said.
"Yeah, you should have seen him when he was running marathons," Gloria said. "His legs were really jacked."
"Really?" Eli asked.
"Totally," Gloria said. "Back in the day."
"You know what happens when you get older?" I said. "People start talking about like you're already dead. Standing right here, people!"
Eli laughed. "Hey Dad, can I have money for dinner? I'm going out with ****" (girlfriend's name redacted).
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"The mall," he said.
"Here's a twenty," I said.
"Not eating somewhere nice tonight!" he said.
"You know, instead of having a boy, we could have bought a pony," I said. "Just think of how much money we would have saved. And we would have had a pony!"