Monday, March 26, 2018

How I Came To Play Northgard (a 27-step process)

1. See that Steam has the Settlers 7: Gold Edition on sale for $4.99.
2. Buy Settlers 7: Gold Edition.
3. Install Settlers 7: Gold Edition.
4. Click "Play".
5. Update Uplay Launcher.
6. Update Settlers 7: Gold Edition.
7. Update Uplay Launcher a second time.
8. Update Settlers 7: Gold Edition a second time.
9. Update Uplay.
10. Update Uplay Launcher a third time.
11. Update Uplay a second time.
12. Create an account with Ubisoft.
13. Express surprise that I can't use "idiotubisoft" as a user name.
14. Express more surprise that "muffin" is a restricted word, too.
15. Log into my new Ubisoft account.
16. Launch Settlers 7.
17. Stare in wonder at a home screen for the game that includes multiple icons for the Ubisoft store and god knows what else.
18. Adjust game settings.
19. Keep staring at home screen, feel rising anger. Decide to hate Ubisoft with the heat of 1,000 suns.
20. Uninstall Settlers 7.
21. Uninstall Uplay Launcher.
22. Return to Steam store.
23. Purchase Northgard.
24. Install Northgard.
25. Click "Play".
26. Seconds later, the game begins.
27. Smile.

Site Meter