Wednesday, October 02, 2019

The Coward

This is an actual conversation I had with a relative by marriage, who was coming for an annual visit (you can figure it out).

"Well, you know how it is now."

"No, how is it?" I asked.

"One of my friends got fired because two people at work said he tried to run them over."

"Wait, what?" I wasn't sure I heard that correctly.

"I know he didn't do it. But they said he did, and the dispatcher lied and said she saw it, and they fired him."

"Well, that's something, all right." Going super neutral here for diplomatic reasons.

"You know how it is now. Anyone can make up anything they want to and people will believe them. You must have seen this all the time when you had corporate jobs."

"Oh, hell, yes. When I worked for Dell, people were getting run over in the parking lot every week."

That's what I wanted to say.

What I actually did was pause for a couple of seconds, then say "No, I really didn't."


Also, in what world is the go-to card for getting someone fired falsely accusing them of trying to run you over in the parking lot?

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