Wednesday, November 20, 2019

I hear things

I've mentioned this before, but sometimes, people tell me things.

I was having a haircut on Tuesday, and I asked my barber (a delightful person) a series of questions that eventually led to this: "Did you have any haircuts when you first started out that were so bad they were embarrassing?"

This was the money question, because it led to a series of stories about being right out of beauty college, and I'll share the best one with you.

Her first job was with a men's haircut place, and at this place, you could get shaved with a straight razor. Well, she'd never been trained in the use of a straight razor at beauty college, because almost no one uses it anymore.

Her boss showed her--once--how it should be used, and cut her loose.

She said that in beauty college, she didn't learn anything about moles, either. Of course, that meant one of her very first customers would ask for a straight-razor shave.

Did he have a mole? Why are you even asking?

So now she had a straight razor--mole combo platter, and you can see where this is leading. In the process of shaving him, she sliced right through the mole on the back of his neck, cutting it in half.

The blade, though, was so sharp that the customer didn't even notice.

So she's standing there, half a mole in her hand. Something we should all experience at least once in live, obviously. She's totally panicked, so she does the only thing she can think of to do: she STICKS IT BACK ON.

The obvious problem with this strategy, of course, is that as soon as she does this, she has to watch it every second to make sure it doesn't fall off again. It's like an "I Love Lucy" episode, but with moles.

The man eventually leaves, the two halves of his mole still tenuously held together.

This is what she learned, and it applies to a wide variety of situations: if something goes seriously wrong, say something immediately.

Either that, or be ready to watch a lot of mole parts.

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