Wednesday, July 29, 2020

What The Actual Hell

Sorry, tree story delayed for one day.

Here is an actual communication from an actual developer, apologizing for a lack of updated information on the status of their game (which is supposed to be in beta this fall):
In the immediate future, we plan to deliver the following communications:
1. Give an explanation of the goals of our new Roadmap and what to expect from it
2. Show a rough mockup of the proposed new Roadmap
3. Share a work in progress version of the Roadmap for at least one of our core teams
4. And then finally transition to this new Roadmap

We’ll approach them in the order above, and we’ll likely need a few weeks between steps, so I don’t want to create the impression that this is happening overnight.

Let's review. This is a four-step process. Explain, mockup, WIP, and transition. Each step takes "a few weeks." So let's say 2.5 weeks, on average.

Over two months, in total.

This is for a roadmap of a game that has already been in development for a decade. Are they creating a roadmap from scratch? Has this odious task finally risen to the top after ten years?

The game is Squadron 42, of course, the single-player version of Star Citizen. 

I'd like to start a Star Citizen's Cow parody Twitter account (love that cow), but their communications have gone beyond parody. It would be like trying to parody Monty Python.

All right, I'm going to plant a stake in the ground here. The beta is doing to be released this fall, only it's going to be more like a pre-alpha. Within six months of that, the project is going to blow up entirely, with the "beta" as proof that development was done in good faith (as a hedge against lawsuits).

Then, an army of hundreds of volunteers is going to spend years trying to fix the game. You know that's coming.

And there will be a legion of "backers" saying that if they could do it all over again, they would.

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