Monday, February 14, 2022

Et Tu, Rice Cooker?

Trying to overcome my entirely natural aversion to cooking because microwaves exist, I decided I would try to min-max the situation. Make one meal that will last three days, then all I have to do is heat it up for the last two. 

That's close enough to the same level of laziness as the microwave. Problem solved. So I went with rotisserie chicken, rice from a rice cooker (which I've never used), squash*, mushrooms, snap peas, and carrots. 

Mistakes were made. 

Allow me to summarize just a handful of the things I learned:
1. Every natural instinct I have is wrong.
2. *Do not buy what looks like a squash in the grocery store without looking at the label, because it is probably a cucumber. 
3. When the instructions to the rice cooker say "add water to this level," you may think this means add the water first, then add the rice. It does not. 
4. After slicing vegetables, holding a flexible cutting board underneath with one hand will crown the cutting board, leading to substantial vegetable spill-off on the sides.
5. In reference to #4, you can only catch so many things with one hand. 
6. When the rice in #3 completes in the "fuzzy logic" cooker, you will find that it can only "logic" some mistakes, not the basic inability to follow directions. 
7. The second time you cook rice, it will be easier to follow the instructions. Unfortunately, this takes another 40 minutes, and by the time it completes, you will be too annoyed to reheat the vegetables and chicken you had to put in the fridge. You may think the rice will heat everything up. It will not. 
8. Electric range tops remain hot long after you turn them off.
9. Cooking is for grown-ups. Adult supervision is needed at all times.

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