Monday, April 03, 2023

Learning

I like that I'm still learning about myself, but it reminds me of how little I knew before Eli 21.8 was born. 

What I learned in the last few weeks is an understanding of who's good for me and who isn't, and it comes down to broad versus narrow happiness. 

Narrow happiness is when you feel compelled to make every detail perfect when it comes to a friend or a possible romantic partner. Everything must be just right. This creates anxiety, and I've often confused this anxiety for attraction. I don't know why I didn't realize it until now, but when I feel like this around someone, it's not the right person for me to spend time with. 

Broad happiness is when the details don't matter, and you barely pay attention to them. It's a general kind of calm—not boring, but calm—that lets you feel warm and happy around someone. These are the people who are good for you. 

All of you know this already, of course, but I'm slow. 

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