As far as I can tell, and this is just a working theory, this card was sent to me from the future. It's an absolute witch.
Here are the numbers using an FX-51 processor, with all test settings on default.3DMark2001SE: 25,6763DMark03: 12,528
That's so fast it's just goofy. I tried a few games at 1600x1200x32 with 6x anti-aliasing and 16-tap anisotropic filtering. Butter.