Friday, July 30, 2004

The Visionary

Yesterday at Microsoft's Financial Analyst's Meeting 2004, CEO Steve Ballmer had this to say ( There's no new Xbox in the next year, but, man, are we hard at work on that next Xbox; that's all we'll say. New Xbox Live creativity, "Halo 2," and again innovation fuels growth, innovation fuels growth. It's about as simple as that. People fuel innovation, innovation fuels growth and customer satisfaction, driving that hard, make sure that the wheel can come around and around and around and around and around.

Clarity. That's why he makes the big money.

Steve, put down the wheel, man.

I don't really trust Steve Ballmer. I don't trust anyone who gets up on a stage in front of thousands of people and decides to imitate a gorilla. That's what he did before the Xbox launch. If you haven't seen the video, and by all means it must be seen, go here ( and pick one of the links from 'The Original Monkey Boy Gyrations.' I don't think any of those clips have sound, but just insert a soundtrack from The Discovery Channel documentary on the mating habits of gorillas and you're good to go. It's stunning, really. If there's a Platonic form of 'making an ass out of oneself,' then this must be it.

Dude, when you start hopping around on stage like a gorilla, you become a spork: not quite human, not quite gorilla. Both humans and gorillas will then despise you. When you retire to spend more time with your half-ape, half-man family, you will be despised by inhabitants of both zoos and golf courses. You become a man without a species.

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